“Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage…” This old time song is as true today as ever, and we now have a deeper understanding from both Scripture and science of how love and marriage “dance” together and how to restore the dance when the music stops.
Our Catholic faith teaches us that marriage is a Sacrament, meaning that there is actual grace in a Sacramental marriage. This grace is what assists husbands and wives to live out marriage joyfully, sacrificially, and lovingly. However, we are still Fallen creatures so even with the grace present in a Sacramental marriage we suffer from concupiscence, the propensity towards selfishness and sin, which causes us to wound each other.
For intimacy and trust to exist in marriages, we must be present and aware. This is simple, but not easy. Being “present” means staying focused on the here and now – not thinking about some other time and place.