Have you ever heard of the word virtue? Most of us have, at least when we are impatient and our friend replies “Patience is a virtue!” But what actually is virtue and how do we cultivate it? Unfortunately, most people associate virtue merely with good behavior, but it goes much deeper than that. What would you say if I told you that virtue is largely about emotions and desires?
The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines virtue as the “habitual and firm disposition to do the good” and that it “allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. The virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions” (CCC, par. 1803). The virtuous person does not merely behave well, but desires well.
When we think about the saints we often think about the hardships they endured for love of Christ. What we don’t think about is how they often do it without hesitation. Some of the earliest documented martyrs, saints Perpetua and Felicity, were ECSTATIC to by martyred for their faith. This wasn’t because they had mental illness, it was because they desired union with Christ so much that everything paled in comparison.
Detachment is about rightly ordered attachment, not apathy towards everything but Jesus. Jesus Himself asks us to care about our neighbors and steward the gifts we have been given. Virtue, really, is about having the right heart posture toward the good.
Many of my clients come to me because they want better habits, either with themselves or with their loved ones. What they often don’t realize is that the heart of holiness is rightly ordered desire. Our emotions are meant to alert and motivate us to take action, while most people trying to grow in virtue and holiness see them as getting in the way, or at the very least being irrelevant. Let me ask you this, why would God give us emotions and desires if all we are meant to do is ignore, fight, and suppress them? Didn’t God create us with intentional design, after His own image and likeness?
Christ offers a more integrated approach to being human. Christ came that we “might have life and have it abundantly” (Jn 10:10). The THIEF is the one who seeks “to steal, kill, and destroy” (Jn 10:10). So, if Christ came to bring the abundant life, and the human life includes emotions and desires, then Christ’s vision for our lives includes our emotions and desires. It includes our passions and dreams. It includes the entirety of human experience.
- How is your human experience lately?
- Is it confusing or scattered?
- Is it dry and lifeless?
- Is it painful or strained?
Jesus doesn’t want us to ignore any aspect of ourselves. He wants us to integrate every aspect of ourselves. This includes all of the thoughts and desires we are ashamed of, the successes and mistakes, and good and the bad. Why? Because the crucifixion by itself is bad, but because of the resurrection, it is the source of our salvation.
Christ entered our broken human experience to give us a resurrected human experience. Christ offers us the chance to grow, heal, and be made new. This process isn’t always easy, and in His wisdom it doesn’t always happen immediately. He wants to co-create our lives with us, and a huge part of that is growing in virtue. So instead of shaming ourselves for our shortcomings, maybe we should be asking ourselves deeper questions, engaging in the creative process.
- What desire is behind the behavior?
- What belief is behind the behavior?
- What do I truly want to pursue and how can I pursue that with excellence?
When we know the desire and the belief behind the behavior, we can begin to sort out the weeds from the wheat, the lies from the truth. We can see where we are self-sabotaging and what we can do to live abundantly, ordering our desires and emotions more fully toward the good. When we do this, holiness not only becomes attainable, it becomes easy. Don’t settle for coping. Don’t settle for mediocrity. You were made for more. You were made for greatness. You were made to be virtuous.
To connect with Matthew Jandernoa, visit his directory profile at
https://www.catholiclifecoaches.com/matthew-jandernoa
- Virtue in the Modern World - July 17, 2025
- What Is More Important, Identity or Behavior? - August 1, 2024
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