If you ask anyone what they would like to be, invariably you’ll hear, “I just want to be happy.”
But what is happiness after all? If you don’t define it, you likely won’t find it. It may actually present itself to you, but if you never set a goal or imagined what you would like it to be, you will likely miss it.
One of the reasons so many people miss out on happiness is that they are resigned to the status quo. Life is what it is. You live, you work, and you die. Frankly, they’re not really even trying.
Too many others consider it an elusive concept that will just magically happen to them when they’re not looking. Life is viewed as a fairy tale, like Cinderella. Life is terrible, something magical happens and all is put right again- actually better than before! The end. That explains the millions of dollars willingly donated to the government every year for the lottery.
But for those who think this way, true happiness rarely comes. Their romanticized view of it prevents them from finding joy in the ordinary moments here and now. They are waiting for that mystical, far-off time when they can finally be happy.
So how can you find happiness?
For too many, their answer lies out there somewhere. When they have the right spouse, the right house, the best car, enough money, or, best of all, they’re the envy of the social media scene.
Looking for happiness outside yourself is a losing battle. The stakes constantly change and the goal posts are always moving. And even once those things are achieved, you may find you’re not actually all that happy after all. Happiness is more than stuff or status.
By and large, those who search for contentment within themselves are the ones who, in their own quiet and unassuming way, are the happiest.
Believing in God’s love for you, enjoying the affirmation and love received from others, appreciating all you have, including the challenges, and learning to love (and even like) yourself, are the keys to finding true happiness.
I think as Catholics, with our emphasis on the cross, our theology of suffering and our admiration for martyrdom, we can get the wrong impression that suffering is not only inevitable, but something to be pursued. Have you ever seen someone sabotage their own happiness, either with bad decisions or procrastination? Often people feel guilty being happy…or they feel terribly uneasy. After all, if suffering is supposed to be our lot in life, if we are actually happy, the fall will be that much more devastating so we subconsciously may facilitate it early to get it over with.
Three Things to Consider
- Perfect happiness will not be found this side of heaven. We are in a fallen world that is imperfect and filled with imperfect people, including ourselves.
- God does want us to be happy…not just in heaven, but starting here.
- The cross was not, is not and never was the goal. It was, and still is the necessary means.
For the sake of the joy that was set before him, [Jesus]
endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken
his seat at the right hand of the throne God. (Hebrews 12:2)
If you are struggling with finding real happiness, perhaps enlisting some help is in order. If there are old wounds, traumatic events or emotional issues getting in your way, reach out to a Catholic therapist. A Catholic therapist can help you find healing and freedom and remove the obstacles to happiness that may have plagued you for years.
Or maybe you don’t actually need healing or have already been through therapy, but something is still in your way. That’s where a Catholic life coach can have a huge impact on your life. A coach can help you define your goals, identify negative mindset issues and formulate an actionable plan for your life. Best of all, they walk alongside you to help you accomplish it.
No actor, singer or athlete gets great without a coach. So why shouldn’t we, as Christians, charged with winning the world for Christ, have one too? Whether you’re a student starting out, in mid-life or approaching retirement, there’s no time like the present.
Think about it… you’re called to shine, so maybe just a little polish will make that easier.
Allison is also the Founder and President of www.CatholicTherapists.com, and CatholicLifeCoaches.com, which provide nationwide networks of screened and dedicated Catholic therapists and Catholic life coaches.
- Ep. 352 How Do You Know What God Wants? - August 19, 2026
- Ep. 351 Is Your Therapist Reinforcing a Victim Mentality? - August 12, 2026
- Hate the Sin but Love the Sinner…Do We Have That Backwards? - August 12, 2026
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