Relationships can be so wonderful and life giving. God designed it that way. We are literally made for relationships – with Him and with one another. One of the mistakes that we make though is believing that a relationship can “complete” us. If we meet the right person then we can finally be whole and happy. Well, there’s some truth to that. When our significant other has qualities that we don’t have, as a unit we can be more effective and experience greater joys…depending on those differences, of course.
Sometimes having different interests makes us stretch ourselves and try things we wouldn’t normally do. But if we have to stretch too much, we may need to question our compatibility.
By and large, the happiest relationships happen between the happiest people – people who know and like who they are. When we “find ourselves” and become more of who we are truly meant to be – discover our gifts and talents and learn to appreciate them – we are in a better position to have a happy and healthy relationship.
As the new year gets going many of us make resolutions to make positive changes and to let go of unproductive and harmful behaviors. Sometimes that means looking at our relationships and our roles in them. If we have a history of abusive or disappointing relationships then we need to talk to someone to understand this and not just assume it was everyone else’s fault. More often than not we’re playing a role here and frequently it’s related to unhealed emotional wounds. Make this year for yourself the start of putting harmful behaviors in their place and stop letting them sabotage your happiness.
If we haven’t yet found “the one” then maybe we need to first be “the one” we’re meant to be. This is where a coach can be invaluable, especially one rooted in the faith. So many of us shoot out our arrows and then throw the targets later, hoping they connect. We can wind up pretty discouraged. By taking the time to first set our goals, those arrows are more likely to make a positive impact and get us closer to living the life we want to live, and becoming the person we want to and are meant to be. Discernment and prayer are important components to include in this process as God has a wonderful plan for each of us. Consulting Him first can save you so much heartache and wasted time.
So as we start a brand new year, begin with believing in God’s plan, and actively seek it out. Don’t let life just happen to you this year. Aim higher! Be a participant – confident in God’s love for you – and ask for His abundant blessings. That’s where you’ll find the real you and your greatest happiness.
Allison is also the Founder and President of www.CatholicTherapists.com, a nationwide network of dedicated Catholic therapists.
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